New year.

Woah, I never write on this stupid blog. I should start. It kills time.
This years gunna be way better, it has purpose =D.
Odd, first text I've had this year/ first thing said to me this year was received at 12:00 am saying 'babe get the fuck out of town now.'
No idea what thats about.
Hmm I need a new years resolution but idk what I need to do.
I need to loose a wee bit of weight but that doesn't take the whole bloody year.
I need something that I can concentrate on and stick to.
I wana work on getting more freedom at home. but idk if that will ever happen.
I wana be less of a bitch but fuck how am I supposed to do that?? even if I don't say what ever out loud I'm still thinking it so does it really count??
I need to get a job this year. I hate bumming off people and never having enough money. Hmm Ive been writhing this for like an hour and 11 min, I keep get sidetracked. I need to pay more attention this year, speshally in school, I've slipped back way to much and I really wana make something of my life seen as unfortunatly I'm not immortal .

'Trust, you said
Who put the words in your head
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying'

That was two years ago. last year passed and built on that. last year was for me to get over the previous year, I cant beleive it took a whole year though. But I passed him a while ago in town and we huggd and I relised how fine things were. They wern't awkward for us anymore. I can look at him and not feel like I'm dying inside. And it's way better then when we were fighting. But as I said last year was for me to get over all that and now that I'm fine with who I am, who I was, I can move on.
Things are pretty much amazing at the moment, Times are good, everything new for me has happenned arround this time so it's like what my new start for this year is going to build on.
Like I've cleaned out my whole room and thrown out all my junk which for me is a big effort and I've taken down all the familler from my walls that have been there since I moved into my room and for me its like stepping into a new world, and I get the nails taken out of my windows finally which havent been opened in over a year so I'm quite looking foward to it. And I'm trying to teach my self to talk better and my confidence is improving and I have Keifer now and he makes me smile heaps =D and idk maybe I'm just in a really good mood at the moment and tomorrow I'll proably be all fuck this, the new years awful and be all emo but maybe not, I hope not but I have good feelings for this year, hope they're fufilled.

'The only thing worse than not knowing
Is you thinking that I don't know'
I hate when people talk behind my back. It happens alot and i can hear people whispering about me. and I know there all keeping something from me. I hope that stops this year. It's the only thing thats gunna hold me back, it slows my confidence way down.

I guess thats all I've got to say, might go to bed now xp
xx

7 Minutes In Heaven

7 Minutes In Heaven-Fall Out Boy (yes I know, but I like the song xp)

I'm sleeping my way out of this one
With anyone who will lie down
I'll be stuck fixated on one star
When the world is crashing down

I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
But you've got me looking in through blinds
I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type

Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well
Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well on my own

The only thing worse than not knowing
Is you thinking that I don't know
I'm having another episode
I just need a stronger dose

I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
But you've got me looking in through blinds
I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type

Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well
Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well on my own

I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
But you've got me looking in through blinds
I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type

Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well on my own

I pretty much fail at talking. Comment this foools!!!!

I need help, blah i fail at writing blogs, but apparently I also fail at talking to people as well.
Like you know when you have those convos with people that just go like
Person 1"hey, what you up to?"
person 2"hey not much ae, wbu?"
Person 1"same lol"
person 2"Lol yeah"
Person 1"lol"

Okay thats an extreme example, my convos don't get that far before I say something ridiculous that doesn't make sense to me, or sometimes Ill be actually interesting, but you know those people that are hard to talk to?? yeah how do you stop it from turning into a lol convo??

=]

The dress I made today xD

I facials are all emo and I need my fringe cut. Shuddup.

Trashed and Scattered-Avenged Sevanfold.

Keep on writing you're just raping yourself
(nothing can take my mind away from them)
Don't you ask about me, ask 'bout somebody else
(Once I've fallen there's many stories to tell)
I can't feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far ya take it (stuck in a state of questioning)
And don't you tell me you know we' re destined,
you won't convince me, I won't listen
(Resentment building, you've put our lives on hold)

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destinations always are known, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Play your game, and walk away your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else
(Nothing in front of me but holes ahead)
Lie about my life, have a story to tell
(Lights went down, was on the edge and I fell)
Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me,
should make you worried
(Long way to go and you're right there)
Two-faced liar, don't try and know me,
deceit brings fire, makes sure you can't breathe
(Pick at pieces of my body below)

I never bothered with all the rumors, too much garbage (all the same)
I'll stand right here, come on you falsehood deceitful liar
(There's no shame)
Don't ever take my side, I know you're never right, I'll justify the means (Nothing's what it seems)
I'll stand around and fight, but there's no point tonight,
been chained to this machine

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination is always unknown, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Impostor are you out of your mind?

walk down these roads alone and now you're seen here
My feelings that I'm having towards you are perfectly clear (I control this ride)
My devils appetite is tonight and now I'm alright
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time

Play your game you'd better walk away cause your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Don't try and get the best of me (No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache (Lonely, don't try to prey on me)x2
I feel your world keep dying, no more use in tryin'
And my body's trashed and low,
but to you I'll never show myself or what's inside
And I've seen it all before but I'll settle the score,
I'll never join your side

Sewing =]

I made this in sewing today, it's real average and makes me look fat but I like it xP

Christmas =]

I was totally reading McKenzie's blog about Christmas and it totally reminded me of our emo days, and we used to spend our time watching videos such as 'If Gerard way was gay' and 'Gerard way humping a speaker' and searching the internet for pictures of him and we brought all of their cds and listened to them for like ages and I cried heaps and McKenzie do you remember that time I was t your house and it was on like June 11 and i think it was 2007 and Connor was there and I was wearing his NZ Music Month hoodie and I was listing to MCR and was crying and you were hugging me and told me I was better then certain people. . .
Yeah we were loosers. . .
And remember watching life on the murder scene together??

This was pretty much a shitty blog but oh well xP

ps thank yous for my skin xD

Places I like to touch Mckenzie.

Hands - they're nice and soft between her fingers =]

Neck -I like to stroke it gently, I then like to run my hand up her neck and stroke her chin.

And her ear lobes are SOOOOOOO soft when you massage them.

And her face in genaral is smooooth.

And I love to touch her hair, and smell it, it smells fruity and coconut-y- I like to rub it across my face, and taste it. lol. ;]

And last of all her amazing BREASTS! They're so large. Sort of like porn star titties. And like the rest of her so SMOOTH.

I love massaging her with my massage oil, lavender scented. I like to massage her breasts with my face. that will be all.